You have a wedding gift dilemma; you already have a toaster, glassware and a set of luggage so what you really need is cold hard cash. Asking for money as a wedding gift is a common and challenging etiquette issue facing many couples. Your guests are invited because you want them to celebrate your special day, not just to bring you gifts (though it’s a nice perk). A request for cash in your wedding invitation is just plain tacky…so what’s a couple to do?
Word of Mouth
The word of mouth approach is a wonderful way of letting your wedding guests know that you prefer monetary gifts. Your family and friends should share your cash gift request with anyone who asks what gift the happy couple would most appreciate. It’s also a good idea to spread the word about what their monetary gifts will be used for. Whether it’s for your honeymoon or a down payment for a home make sure everyone knows the intended purpose. Your guest won’t ask but like to know that their cash gift isn’t going be squandered away on a pair of Jimmy Choo stilettos and expensive cologne.
Wedding Websites
Consider creating a personal wedding website. It’s a great way to share information about your special day and best of all it’s a polite way of requesting money as a wedding gift. There are several ways to handle the gift registry section of your website. You can place a carefully worded sentence such as “whatever you choose to give us we will appreciate but money is on the top of our wish list so we may purchase a (fill in the blank).” Another option is to have a link to a honeymoon registry or create-a-gift registry website. Additionally you can suggest that your guest purchase universal gift certificates such as American Express Gift Cards or Cheques. However you decide to address the topic, a website is a tactful way of letting your guest know that you’d prefer money instead of traditional gifts.
Asking for money as a wedding gift is completely acceptable but it must be handled in a smooth and courteous manner. With a little help from your family, friends and the internet you can avoid a money gift fiasco.
Enjoy your wedding day!
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PJ McGuire is a Certified Etiquette and Protocol Consultant based in Chicago, Il. She can be contacted at
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